Pentagon.com, IRC, and Sexslaves
The Story of Apple iDerp
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May 6th, 2012
A man can only justify his actions if he regards his demeanor with deductive thinking. This man was not Apple iDerp mainly because he was a fucking douche bag. One must know who Apple iDerp was to understand the period in which it was written. This is my thesis statement. The Negroes contributed many things to our culture, such as walls, dicks, Russians, pentagon.com, and Apple iDerp. Apple iDerp will be remembered through out time because he suffered from abusism, and that’s why he couldn’t play Hat Fortress 2 in the first ETF2L games. He will always be remembered for his journeys and his love for the A Fagdicks.
Negro and McFool were admiral and also-admiral of Negroserver, a server in Hat Fortress 2. They were fucking around and Negro forgot to strap his shit. One day, they recruited an admin. A faggot prophesied that the admin would grow up and clean up the forums and give McFool nothing to do. Negro was like fuck that shit, put him on. To thwart the prophecy, Negro and McFool decided to limit their admin. They gave him noclip and sent him on his way. In those days, it was usual to leave an unwanted or defective admin in the server. Negro and McFool did this. To be extra-sure, they gave him buddha and fucked off. (Don’t worry about this detail, which makes no sense. It must have been introduced to explain the hero’s name.) A dickish Russian found the admin in a pool skimmer. He gave the admin to a friend, who took it to Negro19, a map. (Negro19 reappears in the Negroserver. Under the category of DVDA, versus 63) The king and queen of Negro19 couldn’t have an admin of their own. The king had a bad case of the limp dick. So they adopted the foundling. Nobody ever told little iDerp that his mother was never pregnant. She aborted a BR into a toilet in the back of a LotusClan 24/7 2fort server. One day, after he had grown up, a drunk mentioned his being adopted. Apple iDerp killed the bum. Apple questioned his parents, but they denied it. Apple iDerp visited various faggots to find out whether he was really adopted. All the faggots told him instead that he would keep shit down. He told them that they were dissin’ him so he grabbed his 12 horned burning pyromancer and left town. (None of this makes much sense. Again, don’t worry about it. This is a folk talk not a god damn Oxy Clean Commercial) To thwart the faggots, Apple iDerp tried to hack an IRC at the time it was considered polite. (Again, don’t worry. Yes, iDerp should have considered that, since he might be adopted, any ass trader could be his father and any Russian his mother. But this is a folk tale.) After failing to hack pentagon.com, Apple iDerp went into a gym shower and refused to show a stranger his own dick who (unknown to him) was some faggot. iDerp snorted two lines of pure cocaine off this guy. In one version, there was dispute over right-of-way with a sexslave. In those days, high rank got to go first, Apple identified himself as heir to the throne of Negro20, and for some reason (again, don’t worry about it)
This is page 3
Negro’s people simply attacked instead of explaining that he was king of Negroserver. They were dumb hat traders, what did you expect an atomic bomb? Some versions say that the rude Negro froze iDerp, making him lose his temper. This is bull shit don’t believe it or I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU, AND YES THIS IS A WRITTEN THREAT! And that’s what Apple iDerp told a Russian.
One should ANALize the Poetry on page 43, when iDerp is rollin in his benzo and he has to bust a cap on some flagrants in the urban area.
Riding in the benzo, poppin my colla
See some fine wenches, I hafta holla.
Hats, metal, and the all mighty key
Im apple iderp bitch, the original balla
I bust out my 9, to light up your impala.
Dr. Dre got most of his inspiration from the Negroserver story of Apple iDerp. Soon iDerp’s smarts saved the map of Negro20, and he was made king. Infact the only reason Dr. Dre produced, “The Chronic” because the wall of dicks tells you to climb it, and Apple iDerp used to climb with the makers of Souljaquest.
Apple iDerp was promoted to captain. So basically he was keeping shit down which was fucking nice. He ruled well, and there was much good micspam. Imagine your like jamming your song, then some horsefucker plays over you and say that your music is shit, and you were like ya? So? And they were like, well that’s gay and illegal. Bulluk is dumber than a pimento and Apple iDerp didn’t give a shit. The greeks invented anal lube. This is my conclusion. The end.
Read the pastebin for the events that lead to the first ever Negroserver Fan Fiction